Johnny's Song

      Soon after Trust Birth Conference, my grief became easier to talk about and my fear of becoming pregnant again began to leave me. I moved on to a different phase of grief. I don't know how to label it or explain it, all I know is that my heart was moving on, but moving on with him inside of it. I was opening up to the idea  that having another baby someday would not be the same as trying to replace him. I didn't feel ready immediately but I began to let go of my fears. I sat in my dining room one morning, with my guitar, and began to write him a song. It was my way of telling him everything I wanted him to know and sharing his story with others. It was one way I was able to let go while still holding on.

For Johnny

My little Johnny

You sleep with Jesus tonight

Though I know

You're safe and warm

It's been so hard

To be alright

I prayed with you

And I sang to you

I carried you

When you were gone

I carried through

When hope was lost

Please know that I 

Will always remember you

Johnny your daddy

He sleeps beside me tonight

And each time 

I cry for you

He's there to 

Hold me tight

He prayed with you 

And he talked to you

He carried you

When you were gone

He carried through 

When hope was lost

Please know that he

Will always remember you

And I know

That His Love

Is the only thing holding me

And I know 

That His grace

Is the only thing that I need

His faithfulness is all I see

Cause' He carried you

Into the light

He carries you

And you're alive 

Please know that He 

Will always be there for you 

Please know that we

Will always remember you

(All Rights Reserved; 2012)